Australia’s Scenic Public Toilets #24 – Ned’s Beach, Lord Howe Island, NSW

Last Updated on October 4, 2016 by Red Nomad OZ

Public Amenities, Ned's Beach, Lord Howe Island
Public Amenities, Neds Beach, Lord Howe Island

These conveniences could be ANYWHERE, right? Anywhere with tropical vegetation and killer blue skies, that is. But that doesn’t narrow it down much. Nor does its proximity to a beach and picnic and barbecue areas!

Unlike many of its tropical counterparts, however, this public loo at Neds Beach on gorgeous Lord Howe Island has no predators such as snakes; the barbecues are free and already stacked with wood; and it’s surrounded by many features worthy of much closer inspection.

Like the resident population of endemic and uncommon bird species – White Tern and Flesh-footed Shearwater (aka ‘Mutton’ bird) en route; Sooty Tern, Common Noddy and Black-winged Petrel at the other end of the beach below.

And its outlook under towering Malabar hill with a sheer 209 metre drop to the ocean – named for the Malabar native who fell from it to his death from it many years ago while collecting Red-tailed Tropicbird feathers. Now these amazing birds soar above – and acrophobics* like me don’t look down …

White Tern, Lord Howe Island (pic by Pilchard)
White Tern, Lord Howe Island (pic by Pilchard)

Also en route are two tempting local bakeries, as if I needed another reason to slow down given I’d already claimed the hotly contested ‘world’s slowest cyclist’ title.

What a shame the topographic map we studied before our arrival gave us the mistaken impression that all the roads were flat!

And what an even bigger shame – for the locals – I hadn’t ridden a bike in well over 20 years …

Swim amongst mullet chasing food scraps at fish feeding time; and the kingfish chasing the mullet!

Ned's Beach, Lord Howe Island
Neds Beach, Lord Howe Island

Oh … and what’s that chasing the kingfish? Yep, a (small) shark! Those barbecues are starting to look mighty attractive – and stick around after dusk to see the Mutton birds return from a day of hunting at sea … what a shame Pilchard was too wary of their great hooked beaks to pick one up for a photo!

Mounts Gower & Lidgbird, Lord Howe Island
Mounts Gower & Lidgbird, Lord Howe Island

And if that doesn’t narrow it down enough, the fabulously picturesque Ned’s Beach is often overshadowed by the staggering – but instantly recognisable – view on the other side of magnificent Lord Howe Island.

View to Malabar Hill from Ned's Beach loo
View to Malabar Hill from Neds Beach loo

AND Public Toilet #15, previously claimed (by me!) as Australia’s MOST scenic!

The best thing? It REALLY DOES look like this! Sigh … maybe this IS the best amenities block after all!

At virtually a year to the day since we last visited magical Lord Howe Island, it’s clearly been WAY too long …

Gotta go back.

If only to decide which is the better scenic public toilet.

Who’s coming with me?!

Want MORE?


Pilchard looks ovethe Admiralty Islands from Malabar Hill.  Ned's Beach to the right! Lord Howe Island, NSW
Pilchard looks ovethe Admiralty Islands from Malabar Hill.  Neds Beach to the right! Lord Howe Island, NSW


*Acrophobia= extreme or irrational fear of heights (although mine’s NOT irrational … and Pilchard doesn’t share it …)

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  1. @PDP – It’s a near thing … #15 has the really killer view, but this one has more variety!!
    @NixBlog – Thanx!
    @mery johnson – They could do a helluva lot worse!!!

  2. No 15 was probably my favorite too Red, but this is a very serious contender!! the ‘no predators’ is a definite PLUS!!

  3. @TMWH – Haha! Well, I’d like it just fine!!! If only …
    @John – Yes, but think of the story that’d make!!! It’d be SO worth it!
    @Mary – Hahaha!! I like your strategy and I’m going to steal it!!!

  4. @Linda – It’s my mission to make you all jealous!! Did it work??
    @Sallie – I wondered how close it would be!! Going back is what we live for!
    @darlin – Commiserations!! Of course having something to aspire to means you’re more likely to return! So that’s a good thing, right?!
    @Tracey – Maybe stopping people from lingering in the loo is part of their cunning plan!
    @Greg – Well, I didn’t measure it … but it was a LOOOOONG way down! As was the cliff …
    @FruitCake – Haha! I’ve only got the locals word for it about no snakes – but no reason to doubt. BUT … get enough frogs in one place and the snakes MAY return!!

  5. @Jim – And many more to come!
    @Windsmoke – I’m with you there! But wherever we went there was an even more spectacular view! Amazing place!!
    @Dianne – You won’t regret it, I’m sure!
    @Carolyn – ANYTHING from that shop is good!! We’re already planning our 2nd trip – so much we didn’t see the first time round!
    @Jane & Lance – yes, why exercise when there are so many opportunities for more pleasurable pursuits?!?!
    @Alessandra – Haha, you couldn’t get more different than this by going to Uluru!! Good luck getting somewhere to stay – that’s the peak season, I think!!
    @Saucy Kod – I’m sure you’d love it! The shack has an honesty box for hiring snorkelling gear and other beach stuff! No crime here!

  6. @Andrew – Unless you stay at the big bucks end of the island it’s so NOT a resort!!
    @Rubye – I think I could live anywhere with no snakes!!!
    @Beach Bum – AAAAARRRGGGHHH!!! You win!!! But ‘best snake story’ is one competition I’m happy to lose…
    @Kay – It’s the BEST way to see the country!!
    @MJWC – I’m with you on the snakes … I LOATHE them! I always wanted a mongoose as a pet!
    @Magsx2 – Hahaha! Yes, I found it difficult to believe there weren’t snakes there! And NOTHING will stop me for checking every footstep when I go into long grass ANYWHERE!

  7. 209 metre drop to the ocean? That’s huge! I do like a big drop (the cliff, not the toilet) and I better pencil that in for a visit one day 🙂

  8. If I’d been just a bit quicker I could have beaten Greg to a comment about a long drop. However, I shall pass the man a blue ribbon, and simply note the view of Mts Gower and Lidgbird.
    PS – if there are no snakes, how much would a frog cost?

  9. Beautiful amazing scenery and what a bonus, a toilet that is decent! I’m going to have to google this now and add it to my next trip to Australia list of places I want to see on my next trip around, when there’s no homework or pressure to get anything done… can’t complain though, it’s almost done! Problem is a feeling of not wanting to go home is setting in… oh oh.


  10. Have to go to Lord Howe now. Speaking of loos wouldn’t want to linger in some of those outback loos too long. Eye-watering stuff wouldn’t you say?

  11. HiYa Red – WOW, I was kinda missing the Loo Shots. ha,ha
    Great photo, especially love the view with Pilchard in foreground and I sure would love to tramp around on Ned’s beach. Looks like a small shack? on the other end of beach. This is my idea of relaxin’
    Great Photos Kiddo 🙂

  12. A toilet without snakes? I am sold on it! :-).
    Actually, the whole place looks great to me :-).
    I am looking for a place to stay in Uluru right now, Aussie here I come!!! (in July)


  13. Hello Red:
    Well, we should certainly pass on the cycling, but the loo with a view, the nearby bakery and the barbecue ready to grill would certainly be enticing for us. What a truly scenic place.

  14. Now that’s a loo I’d like to visit Red …. What a wonderful island …… . Must put it on my bucket list!

  15. Hi,
    I will never believe there are no snakes, there are snakes everywhere in my book. LOL.

    Great photos, and I do love the loo. I especially like the photo taken from Malabar Hill, simply spectacular.

  16. No Snakes!! Whoo Hooo…. I hate snakes. That is the toilet for me.

    Beautiful pictures Red!

  17. View to Malabar Hill from Ned’s Beach loo

    Now that is simply awesome.

    this public loo has no predators such as snakes

    Had an encounter with a snake at the local zoo while sitting on the toilet. It was cold so the snake was nearly inert but when I saw it was poisonous I was up and gone in two seconds. At least I had the thought to pull my pants up.

  18. Looks like one of the better loos you’ve shown us Red, and actually big enough that one might live in it.

    This place is gorgeous!

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